Skeletons in the closet, coming out of the closet.
I need to come out of a spiritual closet. One that I didn’t really even know I was in.
This winter was a hard one. I lacked the knowledge of how bad it was. I was not aware of the magnitude that I was being effected by the seasonal lows that can be felt when the weather changes and the skies grow cooler and darker.
I am trying to write and say I have mental health issues. That sentence is one that makes a person reading this spit the word from their lips. They aren’t issues. Something in my brain doesn’t react correctly making it necessary for medication to put that back into alignment. Diabetics go through this with insulin without stigma. If I was lactose intolerant and needed a couple pills to be able to eat ice cream out in public I wouldn’t shy away from it.
Five weeks ago I started an online course. I didn’t tell many people about it.
Out of a silly level of fear.
It is a Hay House course.
A level of judgement lingering.
It’s a course by Psychic Medium John Edward.
Gulp it’s out.
Yep I believe in psychic phenomenon. AND Embrace it. AND want to learn more about what we all can do to raise our vibration and be better by opening up to our higher self.
You still reading? You judging the fuck out of me right now? Ha ha it doesn’t bother me. It is none of my business. I am no longer living life from a place with fear. Raising your vibration to that of love makes life so much more interesting. My life has changed so much in these past few weeks. First I was nervous to purchase the class. Then I was nervous to get into the videos and really start on a new path.
I was operating as the ideal student. Visualizing the white light of protection. Getting back into daily prayer. Starting a journal that was always within arms reach. Taking time at the end of every day to reflect on my gratitude and lessons for the day. I watched the daily Evolve lessons and started catching up on the weekly Evolve videos on JohnEdward.net
I even smudged the house.
Week 3 was an increasingly frustrating time. I felt like I needed to connect with something that would tell me that I was at least heading in the right direction with this. I had more questions then I had ever had before I was scared that my fear of the unknown or my want to tap into my intuition or psychic abilities was clouding my ability to open up.
I actually sat in the tub listening to a YouTube guided meditation on connecting with your spirit guides and said ” okay guides you have 48 hours to show me that what I am doing is actually doing something” (Pam Grout says to give the universe a time line for evidence of proof it exists, in her book E Squared). Less then 48 hours later my dad called and said he had a dream that ” John Edward told me to tell you not to give up and not to quit even with all the frustration you are feeling.”
Okay, well that happened!
Then I started Week 4 and it was lovely and meditative and helped me get into balance.
This week (week 5) shot it out of the water. I have had an awakening. Spring sprung. The weather has shifted.
I feel calmer the I have in years. I feel centered. Hopeful. I have begun to feel like the young woman I was before introducing my 5 children to this life time. I know this is just an online course and that John Edward is not like having a professor in a college class. He doesn’t know he has taught me this. I am not getting his daily energy in a class room where he is guiding a room full of students. He is completely unaware of the impact he has made on the life of a young mom with 5 children, a husband and a house full of pets. (Think about that only in terms of the energy they carry.) This experience has been enlightening, in its truest definition of the word.
I have learned that I chose this life with all its experience out of a catalog of lives I could have had, based on the lessons I needed to learn to move forward after this life time. Not the first time I have heard the teaching of “we choose our lives.” But somehow in the way John presented this it clicked. I was ready for the click. I openly chose this book off the shelf of thousands knowing it was the one that was easier then the others and provided the lessons I could learn to be ready to move on in the series in the quickest most harmonious way possible.
Well holy shit did that make any reasons for unhappiness and silly fears to wash down a drain, literally. I am left with intense forgiveness for those around me who can only do their best even when their best is hurtful in some way to me or my soul family.
With forgiveness comes a light that shines right in your heart center. A beaming right from your chest where fear used to feel so tight. I can feel in every cell in my body that I am out of the ditch I was in parallel to my souls life experience path. I am bursting with gratitude towards John Edward, Hay House and all of their soul families for Project You. John didn’t put me on my path, he just showed me that I didn’t have to dredge through the ditch while I was on my path. I could take the road beside the ditch that may still be a dirt road with rocks and curves along the way, but at least I could see the road signs from level ground.
I can picture the very little girl I would have been when you started on your path with your gift. She didn’t know you and your struggles but your struggles led you to the teachings she would one day need to make her life better. Thank you John Edward for putting yourself out there, in front of all the judgement and non believers. You sir have delivered a message that has completely changed the course of my life. Everything from here on out is different.
I still have 3 weeks of the course left!
Thank you for reading my stories. They are the little proof that I was here.
Please leave a comment so that I too can know you were here.
gossip and coffee 